To anyone who ever found excuses not to live their wildest dreams:
I thought I was pretty good at catching myself when making excuses until…
Until I hit a wall.
The wall of unhappiness.
I felt unfulfilled, stuck.
I was “busy”.
I had 2 business coaches, tried a whole bunch of new things.
I was still MISERABLE.
My creative self wasn’t expressing itself to its highest potential.
Professionally, I was stagnating*
(*more in another post)
But there was one place where I still felt home, at peace, alive, and creative: Jacques Lecoq.
Yet, I gave myself 5001 excuses NOT to study at Jacques Lecoq in Paris. Moving there for 1-2 years?!?!
I talked myself out of this dream for a LONG TIME.
My EXCUSES were:
“I am too old.”
“It’s too expensive I can’t afford it.”
“I can’t put my career on hold now. Stop the non sense.”
“Tell theaters you’ll be gone for 1-2 years… and all the hard work you done so far will go to the bin.”
“Everybody will forget about your existence if you leave.”
“Leave the dance scene for a year and you’ll be back to square one. Forget it.”
“Euh… what you gonna do in Paris?”
“People will laugh at you. They ain’t gonna understand the concept of professional development. They gonna think you were an imposture for all those years.”
“It’s too late.”
“You wanna become a better theatre director, choreographer and blahablahblah… who the F&^$$K cares?”
I wanna grow. I wanna fullfill my highest potential as an artist. I wanna stop playing mediocre and raise my game.
I had to remember that it is MY LIFE, and I CARE.
And that’s not a bad start if you wanna be happy.
Inner voice: “So… what you gonna do about it Cindy?”
I got tired of my own inner talk.
I hated the wall of unhappiness I had hit.
I spoke to a 55 years old woman living her theatre dream and felt soooo silly. My excuses crumbled.
I applied – extremely last minute.
Got onto the waiting list.
(Just getting on the waiting list was high in emotions, I cried. It was as if my soul said “YES GIRL! IT WAS ABOUT TIME!”)
Three days later, I got an email saying I go a place to start in October.
The next day I created a crowdfunding campaign for my tuition fee.
Now I am planning the move, following the path to happiness.
I trust that all the resources I need are already on its way to me. Blessings come as a full package.
So, too anyone who ever found excuses NOT to live their big dream… look the wall in the eye, and say “you are about to crumble down my friend” 😉
I am currently fundraising.
To support and make a donation towards my tuition fee to study at Jacques Lecoq: