That nasty little inner voice

Wanna know what my nasty little voice was saying?
 

It was not “I am not good enough”….

 
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Mine was “I am not important anyway, and nobody cares”.
 
When I say it “was”… don’t take me wrong.
It still appears like a gremlins and pops up like firework by surprise.
 
This evil sentence especially likes to catch me when I am playing bigger, aiming bigger, dreaming bigger.
 
I had to learn the art of wrestling with it, as well embracing it and loving it for what it is.
 
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So when I started a crowdfunding campaign for my tuition fee to study at Jacques Lecoq in Paris… guess who knocked at the door?
 

“I am not important anyway, and nobody cares”.

 
Damn… it was having a full on party, bottles popping, inside my brain and my veins.
 
I had to put the unwanted guest outside, thank him for sharing its thoughts, but party was over. Camp in a tent outside, mate!
 
—-
 
One month later…
 
73 people donated
 
73 people told me THEY CARED, and they are encouraging me on the journey
 
Donations came from:
Belgium, UK, San Francisco, NYC, Sweden, New Oreans, Jamaica and Paris
 
—-
 
THANK YOU <3
 
Every day I am freaking out a little more thinking…

wow… I got 73 people waiting for me to succeed…

 
No pressure.
 
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I am sharing this story because this crowdfunding campaign has been the FIRST TIME I ever put myself vulnerably on the line so much.
 
People could have ignored me.
 
People could have swiped away and scroll further.
 
But they didn’t.
 
Instead… LOVE POURED IN from all corners of the world:
With donations when people were able to, and, with a message / favour / text when they couldn’t donate.
 
Did I ever imagine this could happen?
 
NO WAY.
 

I thought “I wasn’t important anyway”, that I was gonna walk down the aisle of shame cause nobody would even pay attention to my posts.

 
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The BIGGEST life lesson today is to be OPEN.
OPEN to receive encouragements.
OPEN to receive love.
 
I played it tough for many years.
Often felt like I was a lonely warrior, fighting… fighting what?
 
What I really needed to fight/love/accept was that inner voice.
 
—-
 
Today I wanna share this with you all:
 
I am important and people care.
 

YOU are important and people care.

May we all be OPEN to receive this abundant caring energy that exists all around us.
May your nasty gremlins little voice camp outside.
LIFE is YOUR party, not his.

And remember we need more artists like you partying in this world.

 
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Picture by Wei Wang 🙂